I hate dry cleaners. No offense if you are a dry cleaner.

Dry cleaning is such a ripoff.  Well let me rephrase that.  If you are a guy and you prefer to not have to do your own laundry and you wear dress shirts that can be cleaned in less than a day for less than a dollar, then no, dry cleaning is not a rip off.

However, if you are a woman who is perfectly capable of doing your own laundry but prefer to have your work clothes professionally cleaned and pressed by a dry cleaner, then watch out.  Case in point, I dropped off 4 blouses, a sweater, and a pair of dress pants last Friday.  The clerk told me that they wouldn't be ready for pick up until Wednesday.  I was like "Seriously?  Are you that busy that you have to keep my clothes for nearly a week?"  He said the best he could do was Tuesday.  When I showed up on Tuesday, it cost me $36.23 to bail out my clothes and take them home.  And this was after a 25% discount.  Does this seem unfair or what?

I once asked the cleaners why a man's dress shirt cost $0.99, but woman's dress shirt costs $4.99.  He told me that it is because a man's shirt fits on the automatic steam press while the women's shirts do not and have to be pressed by hand.  By some point, shouldn't they have made enough moolah on the extra $4 per shirt that they could buy a woman's shirt press???  I mean seriously.  Maybe there is no such thing as a woman's shirt press.  Maybe that is the key.  Maybe developing a patent for such a machine is my ticket to lifelong wealthy and happiness.  Women all over the world will worship me for the money they save on dry cleaning.  Maybe I should not have posted this.  Maybe you should not be reading this.  This blog will self-destruct in 15 seconds.