Sometimes it's better to just live in denial.

Whenever I decide to go for a run (or walk with small bursts of jogging -- let's call it what it really is), I always have this vision in my mind of me as this super-fit athlete prancing through the air with the grace of a gazelle. I mean seriously, no one envisions themselves as slow and as lumbering as they really are.

I had high hopes that my new shoes would suddenly make running a wonderful orgasmic experience that real runners declare that it is. I've come to the conclusion, however, that it's all a bunch of hooey that runners have made up to make it seem like they are doing something really cool. Yesterday I decided to try out my new shoes on the treadmill at the gym. I really did feel like I was bounding through the air at lightning-fast speed. That is, until I caught my reflection in the mirror. Yeah, not so much.

In my mind I feel like I'm much more in shape and look way better than I really do. I guess that's similar to what people with anorexia struggle with. They envision themselves overweight (therefore refuse to eat), when the rest of the world sees them as skinny or normal in body weight. The tricks the mind plays are so cruel.

There are exactly three reasons why I might want to run:

1. The building is on fire.
2. I really have to go pee.
3. I've found myself lost in the woods and a large bear has zeroed in on me as the weakest link.

For all other situations, walking pretty much works just fine and you don't get as sweaty.

With all kidding aside, running is very hard on your joints, especially when you are overweight like I am. It's really a catch 22 because you want to be thinner to run, but it helps to run to get thinner. I know I'm discouraged, but some days it's just really hard to get motivated when you know a) you are going to be in real pain while exercising and b) you will likely be in twice as much pain when you wake up the next day. That's where I found myself today. Yesterday after doing W3D3 (again) of the C25K program in my new shoes, I felt more leg pain than I have before. This morning I could hardly get out of bed. My back felt all tensed up and sore, my knees hurt, and even my thighs were aching. I've done twice as long a workout and not felt that bad. But, tomorrow is a new day and I'll just keep believing that it will get easier with time. It has to. Or else I might die.

Just call me Kristi Platypus

Remember the Platypus family from Mister Roger's Neighborhood? There was Dr. Bill Platypus, his wife Elsie Jean Platypus, and their daughter, Ana Platypus. Well, I have more in common with them that I thought.

I was in need of some new running shoes to replace my favorite Solomons. At the recommendation of some of my Bodybugg friends, I headed over to Roadrunner Sports. RRS has this Shoe Dog program that is designed to put you in the right shoes. The program itself takes 12 minutes. They ask you a few questions about what you plan to do in your shoes (run?) and if you have any injuries. Then they have you stand on a pressure pad that determines where you put your weight when you stand. The results show up on a huge plasma for all the store to see. When mine popped up on the screen, the employee giggled. You see, my feet weren't even recognizable as feet.

I knew my feet were flat; it was not a surprise. But it didn't even look like I had toes! Seeing it up on the screen made me a little self-conscious. I asked the girl if they had shoes for me and said assured me that yes, they had shoes for flippers.

Next, the Shoe Dog program requires that you jog on a treadmill so they can videotape your feet. This was also funny because the way the video was shown on the widescreen plasma distorted the picture and made my legs look like they belonged to a yard gnome! I'm serious, it looked like I had stumps attached to my flippers.

The girl replayed the video in slow motion and pointed out that my ankles were "very flexible". I said "Oh, thats good right?" and she was like "No, no. Bad." Oh right. Of course naturally the part of my body that's flexible is not supposed to be. She said that with each step, my Achilles' collapsed and that is not a good thing. Honestly, I could not see what she was seeing and still don't think that could be quite right. But, anyway, she takes me over to the wall of shoes and tells another salesperson that I need shoes from the Stability Plus category. No, not just stability, but STABILITY PLUS. Great...sounds like shoes that come with leg braces. So, I braced for the worst (so to speak) expecting them to bring out some shoes that look like this:

But they didn't. The guy brought out about six pairs for me to try on. All were pretty comfortable and didn't look like medical aides. I ended up going with a pair of comfy Asics. I've never had Asics before, so it's cool to try something new. I'm looking forward to see if they make me run faster.