I'm gonna move to Kansas

So last week I got this notice posted on my door saying that I was in violation of my lease, specifically section 13, paragraph 1b, sentence 23, for not calling out "Uno!" when I only had one card left. No, seriously, they told me that I could not store "personal items" on my patio such as potted plants, furniture, toys, and barbeque grills, and everything has to be removed in 24 hours. What exactly are you supposed to put on said patio? I can understand if the management would be a little upset if you were hanging your undies and nazi flags off your balcony, but plants and bbq grills? Honestly. So, since I blatantly ignored their directive, I figure that I'm probably living on borrowed time.

Last week I went and looked at some condos for lease in my area and the ones I liked were about $2400/month for a 3-bedroom 3-bath place with a two car garage. Now that sounds awesome if only I could find a roommate who would be fun to live with and not a serial killer. Easier said than done!

I've pretty much relgated myself to the fact that come November 1st when my current lease is up, my rent will probably be increased to around the $1600/month range. That's kind of my threshold for ridiculous. I have a 1-bedroom 1-bathroom place with a 100 SF patio I can't even use. Yes, it does have an ocean view, but c'mon. I could have a sweet house someplace for that kind of cash.

So that brings me to my next dilemma. Where do I want to move? I've pretty much ruled out anything in the southeast region of our country (no offense), as well as any states that begin with "New" or the letter "A". Also, any state that has a north or south counterpart. This leaves me with states like Connecticut, Vermont, Colorado, and the ever-popular Idaho. For the sake of discussion purposes, I've also decided to rule out all states on the east coast time zone because I'm sick of the news starting at 11pm and the late nite TV starting at 11:30. It should start at 10pm. With all these criteria in mind, I think I would most like to live in Kansas. Why Kansas? Why not Kansas? For one, it has the power of K going for it (I like alliteration) and also it has a band named after it. How cool is that? Kansas also has a woman governor and it's the birthplace of Buffalo Bill. But what really tipped the scales is the fact that Kansas City brews my favorite beer, Boulevard Unfiltered Wheat. Kansas just seems innocuous and pure. Plus, you get a sweet plate that looks like this:



I'm kind of at the point where I'm not sure what to do. It's not like I don't like California and the people who I've met and befriended, but I'm also not feeling any roots taking shape. I suppose that could change if perhaps a marriage proposal or lottery jackpot came my way. Anyone have any suggestions?