I relegated myself to a time out to do some thinking lately, some soul searching. What I've concluded is that sometimes I don't handle stress very well. Hence, the whole crying thing at work the other day. (Yeah, classy.) I also concluded that I'm very easily distracted.
I've taken on this goal of mine to be a slow, fat triathlete as another pressure in my life rather than something fun. That's how I have to look at it, however, to make sure I follow through. I've been working so hard at getting in shape, I'm down 27 pounds now, and I'm not nearly anywhere close to my goal. Sometimes big goals can be overwhelming. I still have the mass of a small child to lose somehow. Well, make that a medium-sized child.
When things at work get stressful, as they will inevitably from time to time, it takes more energy for me to get through the day and that leaves little time and energy for any sort of workout. My weekly plan is pretty intense....for me anyway. I have 2 days at the gym, 2 days at the pool, 2 runs, and at least one bike ride on the weekend. Over the past 6 weeks or so, I've barely gotten any of my workouts in due to long days at work or other obligations. Then, once I start getting behind in things like household chores, grocery shopping, etc., all of those tasks have to come first in my mind over things like going for a little jog. Work before play. It's messed up, but that's how my brain works.
So when I've been stressed out at work over the last month or so, I've missed going to the gym, which means not seeing my friends, which means my friends miss me, and which means I miss them, which means we're not caught up on each other's lives and then it just snowballs from there. If I don't make it to the pool on my swim nights, then I *know* that I will have to endure the wrath of Coach Martha the next time I do make it. (Can anyone say close-fisted swim drills??) Besides not getting the benefit of the exercise, I'm also paying close to $100 per month for the gym and pool alone. Wasting money really makes me angry!
Unlike people who are always in shape, it is really hard to overcome the inertia of wanting to remain sedentary. It's easier to lounge on the sofa than it is to drive your bike someplace for a ride or jump into a cold pool. The problem is that when you're not maintaining a level of activity, the next time you do go out to do something, it's almost like starting from square one. No one wants that.
So why go through all of this then? I thought about that too. Being a triathlete is really something that I want to do. Yes, definitely. I'm hoping that I like my first race enough that I'll want to continue and find more challenges in 2011.
2 comments:
Coach Martha sounds like a scary person. But not as scary as Tammy.
:-)
Anyway, try not to let things get you down. Remember when you blogged about a co-worker noticing that you had lost weight and the satisfaction that gave you? Remember those moments when thinking about whether to go work out. Keep at it and better things will come.
WTH?! I'm not scary!
Way to go with the 27lbs!!! Truly inspirational as I know how challenging it is!
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