I just came for some Post-Its

This morning was the first and last time I will wait in line outside at a Black Friday sale.

Even though I gave my Mom my HP laptop when I upgraded to my Mac, she somehow managed to download enough malware* to make it run so slow that you would rather poke your eyes with sticks than wait for the hourglass to disappear. So when my Dad saw that Office Depot had a HP laptop in their Friday Doorbuster sale for $299, he said we should go get one. In his words, "It should only take about 20 minutes." Riiiiiiiiight.

Fast forward to 5am Friday. We roll out of bed and head up to the OD on S. Lindbergh for a 6am opening. We figured it would be the least crowded since there aren't other stores near it.

Not so much.

There were people camped out with chairs, blankets, and space heaters. Really people??? I was ready to bail and head back to bed, but my Mom wanted to check out the one in Kirkwood. Same deal, different location. Since it was about 30 minutes 'til opening, I volunteered to stand in the line that was already about 40 deep.

My sister in law joined me a few minutes later and we began strategizing about what our best plan of action might be and where the computers might be located in this particular store. I envisioned a mad dash to the electronics section while shelving was toppling all around us as people grabbed boxes. Basically chaos.

We also passed time in the 30-degree temps by quietly mocking others in line. A mother-daughter duo in front of us were wearing snow pants. Snow pants? Were they planning to buy a new printer and then hit the slopes? I mean I get that's it's cold, but let's be real.

When the doors finally did open, chaos did not ensue. Instead, the opposite occurred. The line moved slowly. People did not run, shelves did not fall. The line simply reformed beginning at the registers and continuing clear back to the back of the store. Apparently, retailers keep the big sale items locked up to prevent the aforementioned from happening. BO-ring. We assumed our place and waited.

Waited and waited.

We waited in line inside for about 30 more minutes until we were finally in sight of the checkout. That's whey then announced they sold out of the laptops.

This is why I will never** do this again.

*I don't know for sure that it's malware. All I know is that it was working fine and now it's not for no apparent reason.

** I will probably be snookered into doing this again sometime in my life.